Well, it’s been two years since my dad passed away and it’s still really weird. I think the hardest part has been remembering the last six months of his life where he was sick. It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t good. There is not much redemption in those moments of sorrow. But the best memories are before that time. Knowing the man, my step-dad, Dennis Knable. He was full of confidence in God. He was kind to the lowly-he reached out to prisioners his whole life. He was full of integrity. And for me personally he was ready with great advice that freed me to become a man. I still miss him.

Here’s a post from my mom:

two years and the sovereign will of God
yesterday was two years since Dennis passed away.

passed away–what a strange term–it would be, of course, more accurate to say ‘went to be with the Lord’ ‘passed on’ or ‘was released from this body.’

at any rate, it seems like six months. it seems like ten years. almost everyone i’ve talked to has said they would have guessed it to be one year. but that one year felt like ten years to me. i was so glad when i finally crawled out of that first year and once again could believe that life was good and life was worth living.

a while back i posted natalie grant’s song, Held, the gist of which is that, while we may not be spared the trial, we will find that through the trial, God is holding us, even when we are unable to hold onto Him. that is so true.

i’ve been reading about and contemplating the sovereign will of God. sometimes, our lives make no sense. why would i lose two husbands to cancer? why would dan and rachel lose two dads? why would patrick and kevin lose their dad at such crucial times in their lives?

sometimes we can look back and actually understand what God was doing. other times, we just have to believe that, though His sovereign will may be hidden from us, God is in control of our lives. and that He is trustworthy. and that He loves us with a deep and unconditional love. and that He weeps/groans/gets angry along with us/for us when His beloved children experience the results of the Fall here on this planet.

so, yesterday, rachel, javier, kevin and i went to the grave and placed an easter lily–a symbol of new life and resurrection.

and, that is what makes all the difference. we know that this life is but a breath and, because of Jesus’s death and resurrection, we have eternity awaiting us–where every longing of our soul will be satisfied when we see our Savior face to face.